Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
