How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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