I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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