You're so nebulous sometimes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
