She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
