i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
