Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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