What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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