I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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