What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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