how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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