do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
