I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
