smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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