As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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