ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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