peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
