Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
