Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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