Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
