How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
