dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
