Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
