Welp...herpes.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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