Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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