You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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