i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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