when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
