i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
