So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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