Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
