the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
