This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
