Well douche your snatch and let's go!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
