I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
