Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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