how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
