You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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