Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
