ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
