So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
my being single is dangerous.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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