Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
