I wish I could punch you in the face.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
