GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
