We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
