Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My vagina is very pro this idea
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
