i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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