go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
