I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
