Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
