Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
